Okanogan in March
The Okanogan Valley is a fertile desert river valley surrounded by sandy, rocky hills covered in sagebrush and prickles. The locals lovingly refer to the soil on these hills as 'moondust' - it seems to hold next to no nutrients and repels water.
In spirit lore, the desert landscape is where you'd go for solitude and enlightenment - in the same way as Jesus went into the desert for 40 days. I love that it's so near where I live and I use it often to recharge and ground.
This time of early spring the snow is gone and the days are warming up. My daughter Maya and I had a mama-daughter day and cycled up to McLaughlin Canyon where we occasionally go rock climbing. This time, we just sat on a hill and had a picnic enjoying the view, the sun, and the wind.
It was a lovely spot until Mia the dog got bored and showered us and the picnic with sand!
Then we went home and made our own vegetarian Sushi - Yum!
On Identity
What's your identity, and why is it important?
Approaching identity from the knowledge base of scientific culture, your identity is who you are. You identify as human (most likely), with a gender (or binary), a skin color, culture, name, age, family and social status, and a history. Your scientific knowledge explains how you were born, grew, developed skills, memory, body, retained knowledge, and grew your personal history. Your identity in this belief system is inseparable from your body and your history. The past or history of this identity informs how you see your future, and likely how it will unfold.
Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, and spiritual traditions of awakening see identity as the collection of thoughts and beliefs that inform who you think you are. Eckhart Tolle uses the term Ego to describe a mind-based entity that keeps you identified with your present form. This Ego’s main characteristic is that it sees itself as separate from everyone else - from every other Ego. If you are not aware of your ego and its compulsive and repetitive thought patterns, your ego’s main “goal in life” is to reiterate the story of who you are as opposed to and separate from other beings. Unless you are aware of your ego, it dictates your thought patterns almost exclusively.
Feeling connected to the world
In the deeper truth of awakening, you become aware that you are not separate from the world around you, but connected to it; you are a part of it. Following scientific models since the discovery of the quantum universe can aid with this realization. Extremely simply put, your body as well as all of your physical reality is made up of particles that have the probability to form particles, or waves, or be nonexistent. On the particle level, you are a conglomerate of tiny, fast-moving, and vibrating particles, just like everything else around you. The physical boundary of your human form turns out to be very porous and in constant communication with everything around you. You are part of a fluid exchange of matter that happens throughout the whole known universe.
 As we grow up and older, we develop a memory that allows us to classify the world around us. When you see anything for the first time - a butterfly as a child, or a beautiful vista as an adult - there’s a moment beyond thought and before classification. In that moment you are one with the experience and likely filled with wonder and joy. Then a thought comes in and tells you what it is, and the wonder stops - you are once more separate. Through this naming process, we do not only limit our own being but also seek to simplify the interconnected life all around us.
Do I want a strong or a weak identity?
Developing identity is a necessary step in your evolution as a human. However, if you stop there, you begin to experience an inner incongruence between the desire to grow further as a being, and the desire to keep your identity stable. The ego feels stronger with more certainty as to ‘who you are’. The pitfall of the strong ego is that it needs to defend who you think you are against the changes inherent in constant growth. The more you can see yourself as a fluid identity with shifting boundaries, the weaker your ego identity will be.
A subtle identity allows you to keep an open mind. It doesn’t need to defend your point of view (although it can have a discussion). It is open to the truth and wisdom in every new experience, and as such, it is the basis of an agile mind. Awakening is characterized by humility - the ability to see one’s faults clearly without feeling guilt or shame and thus have compassion for others’ shortcomings. There’s a sense of connection with life, and with other people. The boundaries of this subtle identity are fluid, and what’s ok today might not be tomorrow. This creates an ever-new experience of life and an unlimited ability to grow and learn.
The 4 questions of the Work will question every facet of your identity. They are not designed to prove your old self wrong so that you might evolve into a new, better self. The questions and turnarounds will open your mind to a truth that’s not limited by your identity. Instead, it is informed by the thrill of connection, by understanding, compassion, and love.
Get to know the facets of YOUR identity!
If you want to get to know the facets of your identity and explore how you can use them to develop an open and agile mind in your career, book a Facilitation and Support for You Session. In 2 hrs you'll learn the basics of the Work, let go of some of your beliefs, and have a strategy to move forward. If you learned about it in this newsletter you may book this session at 50% off (full price $140) until March 30!
Results
Here's what Kathy Taylor (leadership coach) said after just one session:
I had just had another challenging meeting with someone and was upset that I was so upset. Stef helped me change the way I perceived that person so I didn't feel the need to protect myself so much. The work was really interesting and I'm still percolating on it. Thank you, Stef!
- Do you have a challenging situation with one person who pushes your buttons and makes you feel defensive and agitated?
- Would you like to resolve it and come out of your next meeting feeling relaxed and on top of the situation?
Using Inquiry to investigate what's going on for you can help you find the hidden gifts of this troublesome relationship! As a result, you'll feel appreciation and connection instead of stress. Take full responsibility for the solution and gain a clear mind at Work!
Sign up for Clear Mind At Work, a 3-week intensive deep dive into inquiry. I look forward to working with you!
An old favorite of mine for you to read
 The Supreme Yoga, also known as the Yoga Vasistha, is a Sanskrit text that discusses the nature of reality in the form of a dialogue between Prince Rama and the Sage Vasistha.
Prince Rama keeps asking questions pertaining to various scenarios of the perceived reality and imagination. The Sage Vasistha's teachings repeat over and over again that the source of reality is the mind.
It's a beautiful journey through mythology and history combined with spiritual teaching. There are various translations, and I have found this one palatable.
Amazon says: The Yoga Vasistha has been a favorite book of spiritual seekers in India these several centuries. Its special appeal lies in its thoroughly rational approach, and in its presentation of Vedanta as a philosophy to bridge the gulf between the secular and the sacred, action and contemplation, in human life, through a comprehensive and lofty spirituality. This monumental scripture is the greatest help to the spiritual awakening and the direct experience of the Truth. This is certain. If this is what you want, you are welcome to the Yoga Vasistha. An oft-recurring expression in this scripture is kakataliya'-a crow alights on the coconut palm tree and at that very moment, a ripe coconut falls. The two unrelated events thus seem to be related in time and space, though there is no causal relationship. Such is life. Such is 'creation'. But the mind caught up in its own trap of logic questions why, invents a 'why' and a 'wherefore' to satisfy itself, conveniently ignoring the inconvenient questions that still haunt an intelligent mind. Vasistha demands direct observation of the mind, its motion, its notions, its reasoning, the assumed cause and the projected result, and even the observer, the observed and the observation-and the realization of their indivisible unity as the infinite consciousness.
https://www.amazon.com/Supreme-Yoga-Swami-Venkatesananda/dp/8120819756
UPCOMING EVENTS
Increase your Happiness at Work through Self-awareness - Be the Change you want to see!
A 5-day live challenge for
medical professionals and others
who want to compost their stressful beliefs for new growth
March 29 - April 2 10-1030 AM PST, 1-130 PM EST
This 5-day challenge offers 30-minute bite-sized learning opportunities that allow you to dive into the Work and test it out for yourself. I'll be available for questions after each session and looking forward to celebrating your insights with you!
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Change your story for best performance!
- Learn to use Inquiry-based Stress Relief (The Work of Byron Katie)
- Create your perfect work environment through self-awareness and wise action
- Increase your ability to deal with challenges
- Take full responsibility for the story of your life
- Increase your positive energy and outlook!
And of course, there's a replay if you miss the time!
Learn More
Business View cast for The Leaders Work
Catch this 7:21 minutes long interview on The Leaders Work! Great to share with friends who'd like to know more! Marketing View Cast Episode 19
COMMIT TO DEEPSEATED, LASTING CHANGE
If you really want to continue your career being confident, calm, and effective amidst the highs and lows of practicing medicine, this package is for you.
Committing to these 6 months of transformative work manifests your intention to have your work be a career you can feel passionate about and find deeply satisfying while having time to have an enjoyable life outside of work as well.
The Leaders Work facilitation of inquiry helps you by stress-proofing your working life.
Learn More About Working With Me!
What others are saying after working with Stef:
"I am sleeping much better, I still wake up early, but I am using relaxation techniques, (Heartmath), my anxiety level is reduced, and therefore my physical health is better, my intuitive abilities have increased, the future generally appears safer.
[...] Focusing on being the change I want to see in the world- starting with my primary relationships, actually all my interactions, and working out from there. Feeling less fear allows a spirit of collaboration, patience, and a higher degree of problem solving available.
I highly recommend Stef, I have tried other forms of therapy. I have derived much greater results in a much shorter time than previously experienced!"
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Reach out anytime at stef@theleaderswork.com.
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