Noticing the Grace and Beauty of Your Life

When I did a core strength assessment last year, it turned out that my greatest strength is the ability to appreciate beauty.

On first seeing this, it felt like a non-sensical strength for success in life. But over the last year, I've begun to understand that this strength is connected to a deep source of wellbeing and positive emotion inside me.

I simply love stopping to look at a flower, a painting, a view; to watch people in their endlessly fascinating diversity; to admire the deep blue of a summer's sky.

By opening my heart to the beauty of creation I gain access to the vibrant energy of life and consciousness that permeates and surrounds all things. Allowing this beauty into my heart and soul nourishes me on so many levels. It's a nourishment that is free, healthy, and always available.

All I need to do is notice. Very simple.

That's grace.

How often do you feel relaxed at work and on top of your workload?

When I asked that question during the last workshop "Working With Mindset for Best Performance" I was shocked that almost everyone answered "0%". Some qualified saying they sometimes feel on top of their workload, but rarely, if ever, relaxed.

Since presenting the workshop at AVMA2021 in July, I have been in contact with veterinarians who lost colleagues to suicide, stopped practicing, and left the profession to achieve some semblance of work-life balance. The burnout rates are ever higher, exacerbating the situation.

The support I am offering to people in medical careers is now more crucial than ever. If you know any caregivers or medical practitioners, forward them this newsletter! Finding support and learning to support oneself is preventative medicine against burnout, compassion fatigue, and loss of their career.

The workshop recording is available here.

If you are interested to organize a supportive workshop for your team or staff please contact me at Stef@theleaderswork.com

Here are 2 big reasons that keep the situation from shifting:

One - as a doctor, you GIVE help. You don't ask for it. NEEDING help is paramount to failure. This belief system might not even be conscious in many of us - intellectually, we are well aware that the ability to ask for help is a strength. Yet even knowing it, we don't do it.

Two - We are culturally and societally conditioned against saying "No".

Cultural barriers to saying "NO"

Do you find it hard to say no to others and yes to yourself?

Do you often stay longer at work? Do you bring paperwork or phone calls home? Do you sacrifice family time for work?

Do you go over and above the call of duty? Do you often take on extra shifts? Do you see more clients after hours than you strictly need to?

Don't get me wrong - if this lifestyle satisfies you and you simply love doing it, there's nothing wrong with it. We are all different, and some of us thrive working like that. BUT - if you find yourself exhausted and resentful, and tired before you even get to work, then it's time to make changes.

Defining your boundaries and sticking with them is a good first step to saying "Yes" to yourself. However, we often find it hard to maintain those boundaries because we are conditioned to saying "yes", to working harder, to valuing others' good opinions of us more than our wellbeing. Part of your growing-up process is understanding what payoff you get from overworking. Once you see yourself clearly, you can make clearer decisions and stick with them.

Want to learn more? Watch the recording of this talk last week!

What you can do to make sure you continue to thrive

Even if you are fairly well balanced, mindfulness practices and inquiry can help you increase your energy levels and your joy for work and life. You'll only know how much better you CAN feel once you do. I promise it is a revelation!

The key to having your career be a source of deep satisfaction and inspiration in your life is learning to be present with what is, accepting it as it is - and if you're an advanced practitioner of presence, loving it in every moment. That way, you are really at ease with your role as a caregiver and leader in your team and in your community.

If you are in tune with your practice, in tune with your patients' needs, it becomes very rewarding to just be present and be there to meet those needs.

If you want your work to be a driving force for joy in life instead of a drain on your energy sign up for a facilitation package this month. That way, you commit to living your best life and taking full responsibility for yourself. I'm looking forward to working with you!

UPCOMING EVENTS

I'm branching out! My twin daughters just turned 13. Do you have kids? I find that they are the single most important ingredient in my life that helps me to grow up. Every time I believe I finally got it, they grow and change, throwing out new challenges.

"Love Your Teen" brings us together to support ourselves as well as our kids on our journey of growing up.

If you'd love to

be a more supportive and understanding parent to your teen
be able to listen to them no matter what mood they are in
be a better role model so your kid will become a responsible and kind adult
transition from being the parent to be your teenager’s respected friend and equal
and feel more peaceful and certain about your parenting

Sign up for this free webinar series!

Recommended reading:

It gives me great pleasure to introduce Nurit Asnash, a fellow facilitator of The Work in Israel. She's gone straight to the root of so many of our behavioral and emotional trip-ups!

"Judge your mother? Yes! You do that anyway.

Have you ever had thoughts like: “My mother is the worst”, “She doesn’t understand me”, “She loves my brother/sister more than she loves me”, “She should support me”, “I need her to listen to me”, “I want her to call me”, “She ruined my life”?

The list of complaints goes on and on. Each time you have a judgmental thought about your mother it means you wish she was different, and you argue with reality. That’s an opportunity to have something good come out of it, like your happiness and freedom. How does it work? We do The Work and take these judgments to Inquiry.

Inspired by qualitative research methods, in this book, you will find 19 dialogues by people practicing The Work of Byron Katie. From casual, daily interactions to scenes of violence that span from childhood to adulthood, they will give you eye-opening insights. Put together, these dialogues create a journey of self-discovery into who we are without and beyond our story and identity created around our mother."

Praise for "Judge Your Mother"
"We move in the world with criticism, guilt, anger, and confusion. Inquiry is helping us to dismantle and free ourselves but at the base, we will always find the mother. No matter what. How brave you are, Nurit, to look straight at the root. Bravo."

"Highly recommended – an excellent book for those who want to go deeper in The Work."

"This is a great book. It gives insights on facilitating and reading other people’s Work helps you in your own work on the relationship with your mother."

Get to know Nurit in this interview about her book; or buy the book here.

Accessing love and compassion in healthcare and healing

Love and compassion are often overshadowed by the belief that something else is more important right at that moment.

In the practices of presence and mindfulness, we begin to see that every moment is sacred as it is, and in accepting it, it opens a doorway to perfect love.

Any moment of perfect presence is free from stress and strain. Committing to growing present moment awareness strengthens the qualities of your heart and spirit.

You probably have experienced many moments of that presence while being fully focused and in flow with your work. The trick is to learn to consciously choose this state of mind.

Read the whole article here

Research has shown that patient, empathetic doctors and medical staff are better at healing people.
Are you surprised?

Just like for everyone else, what keeps doctors and staff from being patient and connected is stress. Knowing short-term and long-term strategies to alleviate stress can be the difference between job-satisfaction and despair. The Leaders Work process definitely qualifies as a long-term strategy - I'd even call it preventative medicine!